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What Your Massage Therapist Doesn't Want You To Know

Want to know what THIS massage therapist “doesn’t want you to know”?


Well, maybe not nothing.

I don’t want you to know that I accidentally had onions on my sandwich at lunch and then had to chew four Altoids to get rid of the dragon breath.

person's hand reaching toward a tin of Altoids

I don’t want you to know that toward the end of that one massage, I realized that I'd had too much water before your appointment, and as soon as I gracefully left the room I ran straight to the bathroom down the hall.

I don’t really need you to know that I was worried the entire time that I might have forgotten to turn off my cell phone which was in my purse..

Probably you didn’t need to know that I was watching a spider on the wall, and if it had gotten any closer I was going to quietly grab a tissue with one hand and squish it.

image: white spiderweb on gray background

You probably don’t need to know that as I massaged your forehead, I wondered what you looked like as a baby.

baby with eyes closed sucking on her finger

Maybe you wouldn’t want to know that I smiled to myself as I heard you snore. You sounded just like my dad.

Kate's father, smiling


I've read those articles. The ones that talk about how massage therapists giggle about clients' tattoos, body shapes, etc. etc. and so on.

The ones where massage therapists confess to having x-rated thoughts, where massage therapists say clients smell bad or have weird-looking feet.

I read these articles because I like to know what I'm up against and how I can set your mind at ease.

Patient Relaxation office; a massage table and a window seat

A massage is a place where you are vulnerable. You are in an office with a stranger, undressed to some degree, and letting them touch you. This should not be a place where there are mysteries. It's a place for safety, for you to be protected and honored, where your worries are set at ease, not increased.

If you ever meet someone who claims to be a massage therapist and they have things they want to hide from you, walk away quickly.

They’re no good for you.

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