Hark! The Peril of Flannel.

An Irreverent Lesson

Friends, it's getting into chilly season.

The following is the result of a very silly text exchange between good friends. Forgive me.

"And lo, on the eighth day God did bring forth flannel sheets, and the women of the world simultaneously gave thanks that they should not have to sleep with cold toes again. And so it was, and it was Good.

And then God spake to the people preparing their bodies for sleep, and God say, "My children, I have seen that you have lain the flannel sheets upon your beds within your homes, and I am glad. But, my children, remember what I say unto thee; when one lieth within flannel sheets, thou shalt NOT also put upon your body flannel raiment in the form of pajamas or e'en a nightgown. No, that would not be blessed in mine eyes.

For if thou shouldst attire thineselves in the flannel garments, it would be like unto Velcro, and when thou are within the flanneled bed, getting out again or even turning over shall be rendered impossible."

Thus sayeth the lord. And it doth make our hearts glad to hear it.

And so it is written in the Book of Experience. Chapter 4, Verses 11-19.

And then the Lord remindeth the canines of the world that they should not remain in the center of the bed when their person should desireth to lay there, no, not at all.

They shouldst relocate to the foot of the bed wherein they may continue to provide warmth throughout the darkness of the night.

Should the canines, in their slovenliness, remain in the center of the bed, the person may indeed use her legs and even elbows to banish the canine to the outer darkness of the floor.

So sayeth the Lord.

We hope you have a lovely week. Just don't get Velcroed into your bed.

---The Patient Relaxation staff