Sit Down Here, Next to Me

We're going to get to know each other, you and I. I'm going to tell you stories, you're going to laugh (or sigh or waggle your eyebrows) and then tell me yours.

Who am I? I'm Kate, and I work as a massage therapist, a musician, a teacher, a writer. But WHO am I? Well, I'm still writing that story. And it's a good one.

Because today is the first day of a new year, I'm going to do some "round up of the past" and "predictions of the future" things for a sec.

Last year was a year of prying out things that didn't quite fit, didn't belong. I've tried a couple of ways of being a massage therapist (in a medical center, a spa, a chiropractor's office), and of being a musician (orchestra, chamber music, wedding gigs, teacher). I've worked to be what was expected.

But what did I expect?

Not much. And too much.

There's a distinct beauty in being able to discard the expectations of others, because it reveals the unmarked possibilities of what can be.

And what I want is nothing short of magic. Ravishing, focused love. That's what I have going for me. What I'm capable of. This is what I have to give, and in the giving, I remain undiminished. That is the difference. In other iterations of myself, I've given what others wanted me to give, and while those were excellent and worthwhile offerings (for the most part), they drained me. They lessened me and dampened me.

But now, I will be able to focus on what enlivens me and makes me special. Delicious, single-minded attention, compassion, and truth.

In the form of massage therapy. And in the form of music.

I think this will go well, don't you?